Communication - The News

I finally told my Mom. I have been working up to it and chickened out a few times. However, I had decided I MUST tell her this week so of course I just didn't call her for a few days. And, then I steeled myself for The BIG News. My final plan was to tell her everything at once, slightly overwhelm her, and then let her work through it in her own time. So when I called I said "I have news..." and then proceeded to say I was laid off, I got a good severance, I will be visiting but I have bookings for Christmas so I will be there at the end of November instead, I am making enough to cover rent, etc.. She took it amazing well, did not hang up on me, or freak out, to my surprise. She is 'worrying' but to my Mom that's like regular exercise so I would expect no less. Overall I think my plan worked well. It is a relief for me and my conscience.

I have been enjoying sleeping in and not working as much. I have even had bursts of energy and tackled some house cleaning. I have to say I love being less employed, but I am hoping to grow my business and once I have time to recover from years of stress and frustration I will hopefully want to work more. Apparently stress levels if they remain high over time take 6 months to go back to normal. Therefore I have until March to become a normal well-adjusted person. Wish me luck!

Rain jackets for fat people

I have to say shopping is often frustrating for me when I am searching for something specific. Things are often very limited for plus sizes so I often rant about how it is discrimination - for example why can't I find a hat that fits well? Because the hat industry discriminates against big headed people. I mean really, why should hats be made for tiny heads? They can always get their hat adjusted, or maybe layer their hats. It's ludicrous. Why do the plus size stores ALWAYS sell horizontal striped shirts? They are essentially forcing fat girls to look even fatter. They should be ashamed of themselves. The past few months though it has been all about finding a waterproof rain jacket. Now to be fair there are a variety of options if you're willing to actually get wet - water-resistant, or water repellent, or just regular coats are available aplenty. But, why on earth can't they make a 100% waterproof jacket for fat girls? Why should only skinny people get to stay dry? It's like they are trying to keep fat people inside so they can't be seen. I could get a man's jacket but I don't want to look like a man, I deserve a proper waterproof jacket made for a woman DAMN IT! I went to one store to try on their extra large and I could not even do it up. An extra large in Van is like a medium really (or so I told myself). Lame ass. I went to another outdoor store and they had jackets everywhere but only a handful of small sized waterproof jackets. What's up with that? I finally ordered on line from Land's End. They had large sizes, it was waterproof, had a hood, and was cheaper than the jacket I could not do up even with the duty. I just got it today and it's actually big, I suppose it's because it's sized properly. But, it allows me to wear a fleece or other layers when it gets colder here. There are 6 pockets, perfect for poop bags, cell phone, keys, etc. It's beautiful. I am so happy. I will order from them again for sure. They do have longer waterproof coats but they are made for cold weather and I am not sure if that will work for me here. However, some of their other clothes are really nice.

On another positive shopping note I finally found cords. I had wandered into the tall section (not plus sizes) at Reitmans and noticed they had cords so I tried them on and they fit perfectly though need to be hemmed. Sometimes stuff just works out eventually. And I am going to look awesome and stay dry in my jacket and cords even though I am fat. So take that!

Mountain climbing

Ok, so I did not go mountain climbing exactly - no shirpas, ropes, boots, or other gear - BUT I did walk up Sumas Mountain yesterday via the sidewalk in my Keen sandals. This was involuntary and was not for fitness purposes like all the other people who do it daily. I locked my keys in my car when I got to Georgia's for her dinner visit. This is now the 3rd time that I locked my keys in my car in the past couple of months. Time # 1 was in my driveway so I was able to get back into my house to get my spare right away. Time # 2 was at the office but my friend was just leaving and offered to drive me home to get my spare and then drove me back. This time I also left my purse in my car. I did have my phone, but no money. Luckily I had the key to Georgia's home in my pocket and was able to walk her and feed her. Then I walked home which took about an hour. I had dinner, then walked back with my spare key in my pocket. The walk back took a bit longer for some reason so I got back there at 10 pm, walked Georgia, etc., then I drove home. Surprisingly, despite my poor attitude about it, it was not that bad. My legs were a bit wobbly by the end, and my feet were a bit sore, but I was not overly winded going up the mountain and I was still able to walk Georgia at a decent pace after all that without falling over. I was fine this morning, though very conscious of keeping my keys in my hand when I got out of the car. Another walk up the mountain and back first thing in the morning may have done me in. The locking my keys in the car phenomenon must end, but I am not sure if I can do it. A client had mentioned they always lock their car from the outside with their key so that they never lock them in their car. This seems genius to me, however my habit is to always lock the lock as I exit. A 20+ year old habit is hard to break. My other alternatives are to put the spare key somewhere on the vehicle with one of those magnetic things or to invest in CAA finally. Technically I am suppose to have some sort of service through this Road Star thing but last time I tried to call the number didn't work so I am not sure if it's in effect anymore. I could write it off as a business expense I suppose. Ideally I will just never do it again. Hopefully.

On a more news worthy note I was laid off from the office job. Technically I have to sign off on the severance package which involves confidentiality stuff. However, I think I am safe since I don't think I ever named my employer so defaming them is not possible since no one necessarily knows who I am defaming. Right? Just in case...WOW they are so super awesome I would recommend them to anyone on the planet. I am being laid off only because I suck, I mean 'my position is eliminated', and not because they are dicks at all. Yay company, etc.. Despite the fact that I had wanted to quit (for 2 years), and I was unhappy and so on I still got a little choked up and started to cry when the HR lady and manager met with me. I couldn't help myself. When I saw the HR lady come in I thought 'This is it!' so I packed up my stuff, and was all ready to go. An hour or so later I was called in and I still got upset. I am an emotional wreck when it comes to that place. That's all there is to it. It's not rational, but hopefully I can get over it some day. The severance should help a bit. It will at least facilitate getting a new rain coat, shoes, and visiting my Mom. A for real 'yay' now.